My Beautiful Bright Picnic Fantasy
Plantain chips, bug spray, and other essentials.
My beautiful bright picnic fantasy begins with grapes. Soft but waterproof blankets are the backdrop; Dionysian excess is the goal. There are icy stocked coolers and ceramic platters that never shatter, a crowd of friends in linen clothes that escape all stains. This probably goes without saying, but even though it is at a park in New York City, there are no rats.
In reality, my picnics never go like this. But I love them all the same, even before the pandemic turned parks into the de facto destinations for socialization. Hosting a picnic lights up the same bits of my brain as two of my all-time favorite hobbies: hiking and dinner parties. It’s a great excuse to bring together friends, but it’s also an underrated weeknight dinner activity. Grabbing a big Italian sandwich and eating it on the grass? That totally counts, with bonus points if you bring a sweatshirt to sit on.
This week, I’m writing about a much-requested hobby: picnics, duh! Thank you to everyone who gave feedback about this newsletter last week. It was so so helpful, and I’m trying out a few suggestions here. There’s more first-person stuff from me, a recipe, and last week’s “pop culture potpourri” content round-up is here to stay. If you still want to fill out the feedback survey, click here. Onward!
The perfect picnic meals
I’m an advocate of the last-minute picnic, so most of my spreads begin with a few good store bought finger foods. I try to hit one or two favorites from each of the categories below.
Starchy: Pita, crusty bread, plantain chips, focaccia
Creamy: Marinated feta, crumbled parm, queso?!
Briney: Stuffed grape leaves, marinated olives, tiny baby cornichons + toothpicks
Fruity: Cherries, sliced watermelon + Tajin, apricots
If I’m planning ahead, I’ll make one or two things at home. Like this dip:
Not That Kind of Green Bean Dip
Rinse and drain one can of cannellinis or chickpeas.
Dump into a food processor with a tablespoon of white miso, two big handfuls of any soft herbs on hand, a big pinch of red pepper flakes, salt, and a few glugs of your fave vinegar. Rice wine is nice for this.
Blend and taste. It should be slightly sweet, because miso dials up beans’ natural sweetness, but cut with acidic vinegar and lifted with fresh herbs + hot chile flakes. Adjust as necessary.
Or if it’s a small group, I’ll skip the whole production and grab take-out by a green space. Favorite matchups include:
Dumplings from East Wind Snack Shop + Prospect Park
Chicken yassa from Teranga + Central Park
Veggie burgers and damn good gelato from Superiority Burger + Tompkins Square Park
Hometown BBQ + Steve’s Key Lime Pie + Louis Valentino Park and Pier
Other Picnic Essentials
Something to sit on (that won’t make your butt wet.) Those picnic blankets with the plasticky undersides often look dorky, but they actually work. I have a zippable one from Ban.do that looks very cool, but I honestly wouldn’t recommend it. The zipper broke within a few months, and I don’t have the dexterity or patience to coax it shut over the broken bit. Michael makes it happen, because they are a saint, or I ungracefully shove the whole thing in a tote. Let me know if you have a suggestion for one of these!
Bug spray. It’s not even July, and I’m already covered in bug bites. I need to take my own advice here and remember to douse my limbs in bug spray before leaving the house, especially around dusk. I know natural bug spray normally seems like a scam, but I was gifted this kinda fancy one and it actually delivers. It’s hydrating, smells decently good, and feels strong enough for city life. But it doesn’t compare to the powers of 100% DEET, which were illuminated to me by my sister Chloe (of hiking and vanlife fame).
Bottle opener. Can and corkscrew. Someone else might remember to bring one, but it’ll be a bummer if they don’t.
Water bottle. Maybe you want to manifest a glorious all-day hang that stretches into sunset. Maybe you just don’t want to get heatstroke. Hydration is essential for all of the above. Yes, you’ll have to find a place to pee. Most of the park bathrooms by me are open again, but if you’re heading somewhere without a friend who lives close by...consider a skirt.
Camping lantern. This is extra, but a real pro move if you’re planning a dinner picnic or an all-day situation. I love this portable LED lantern from the MoMA Design Store. Also, this is about to be a gross aside, but I feel it is my duty to warn any New Yorkers that I’ve seen (and heard some horror stories about) some seriously aggressive rats in Fort Greene Park and Prospect Park recently. Plan your evening escapades with caution! It’s their turf after dark.
Pop Culture Potpourri
TV Show: I’m exactly one episode into What We Do In The Shadows, and I’m already hooked. (I know, I’m late!) I loved Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi’s mockumentary-style movie about a troupe of ineffective vampires, and the TV show seems to have the same witty, unhinged energy.
Heatwave cooking endorsement: What would you do with a few handfuls of overripe strawberries and a mostly full can of leftover coconut milk? Well, I made chia pudding. I blended the strawberries and coconut milk with salt, vanilla, and a splash of date syrup, then stirred in six tablespoons of chia seeds and let it sit overnight. I’ve been layering it with Greek yogurt, flaky salt, chopped almonds, and more date syrup for breakfast (and dessert) parfaits. Highly recommend it!
Getting ready song: Praise to the Vibes, Mr. Fingers
TikTok roulette: Weekend energy. My favorite Adult Swim challenge. Beats. Goth CVS. Earnest NYC. Jennifer Coolidge.